BLESSED-TOPIA : Chapter 17 - The Land of Elves

CHAPTER 17 - THE LAND OF ELVES

The huge gate stood in front of them. They all just looked at it though. Joel and Michaedeer were about to walk through it when they had realised Little Bozling had stopped, he looked frozen. Scared stiff.

“What’s wrong Little Bozling?” asked Joel gently, kneeling down next to him.

He got no response though. The tiny elf just scared on looking at the huge gate, shivering.

“Will he please hurry up?” Michaedeer shouted at Joel, “I want some damn wine!”

Little Bozling’s tiny voice then came through for the first time, “I can’t…” he whispered.

Joel leaned in towards him, “Why can’t you?”

“I was banished!” Little Bozling suddenly said, “I may not go back there! I’m too small! They’ll bully me! Who knows what will happen?”

Joel just smiled at him though, this was but another was hiccup on their overall journey. “You’ve got us though this time, come on, we’ll do this together…”

This did seem to boost Little Bozling’s mood a little. He stepped forwards.

“FINALLY!” Michaedeer cried out, she walked forward and rammed open the gate with her horns. “I can’t wait to see the elves…” she said, “I hear it’s amazing in there!”

Little Bozling, slowly walking into the large gate now with Joel at his side simply replied, “I think they’re all a bunch of bullies…”

Joel then finished the conversation awkwardly saying, “Well I don’t like Christmas. I think it’s stupid. I just wanna get past here and get home…”

I think this hurt Little Bozling’s feelings a bit, but he was getting better at controlling his emotions. All of them had walked through the gate now. It was very dark. It almost looked like they had walked into a tunnel. Suddenly, the door behind them slammed shut.

“What was that?” Joel said nervously, as he turned around to yet more darkness.

The others didn’t reply though. They carried on walking as Joel followed. Suddenly, they all started to hear sound. It was coming from up ahead.

Michaedeer heard joyous singing, it sounded a bit like the “It’s A Small World” ride at Disneyland.

Little Bozling heard something different, it was clearly distressing him. “STOP IT!” he shouted out.

Joel wasn’t sure what it was though, all he could hear was screaming. It also sounded like burning, and running. What kind of place was this?

Anyone with a brain should know that The Land of Elves is a very special place. Because it is made of pure magic, it can change appearance. Everyone will always view it in a different way. For instance, if a child should enter it, one that loves and believes strongly in Father Christmas… they will be presented with a beautiful Winter Wonderland. If someone that hates Christmas enters… they will see the opposite.

Joel was one of these people, unfortunately for him.

“I see something!” he said to the others. They all walked towards the light, and suddenly came out of the tunnel. Light blinded them at first, but then they all began to focus.

Little Bozling gasped in horror. Dark elves walked round everywhere. They looked quite similar to him, but they had coal black skin. Their eyes were red. They wore leather suits and each had a paddle at their side.

“They all look so… mean…” Little Bozling said. The others however were not listening.

Michaedeer looked around. Bright white snow was underneath her feet, but she felt surprisingly warm. Happy, glowing elves danced all around her. All the houses in the town were made with what looked like gingerbread. Random elves in the street were giving gifts to each other. And a constant beautiful singing filled the air.

“It’s… the most amazing place ever…” she said gently.

Joel turned to her, “Are you crazy or something?” He couldn’t believe she had just said that.

As Joel had focused on the world around him, the first thing he noticed was the smell. The entire place smelled like a sewer. He could also smell burning. When he looked, the village was half burnt. In the distance he could see more houses on fire. The streets had no snow. Cobblestones were underneath him, and they just seemed slimy and horrible.

He couldn’t see an elf anywhere in sight. Instead he could just hear whispers down dark alleys that surrounded this place.

“This place is worse than the last…” he mumbled to himself.

The three of them all walked on, each looking at a different street in front of them.

Little Bozling was being constantly called names, and having things thrown at him by nasty looking elves.

Michaedeer was being given candy canes and lemonade as she passed everyone.

Joel could still see no one, but had a horrible feeling that he was being followed.

“I think you did the best thing getting banished from this place Little Bozling…” said Joel.

Little Bozling turned and nodded, “I agree completely…” said Little Bozling as a small rock hit his head.

At this point, Michaedeer had a small band of elves following her; each was fanning her with a large palm leaf. She was so relaxed whilst walking that she never realised how horrified the other two were with their surroundings.

Joel could start to see what looked like dark and dirty wheely bins all down the left side of the road. Each was overflowing with rubbish. That must be where some of the smell was from. To his horror, he thought he saw something move inside one of these bins, but he didn’t second look it. He didn’t want to. This place was… evil!

Little Bozling had a whole group of elves pushing him around now. There were three of them.

“LOSER! PUNK! TINY!” they all shouted at him.

For an elf as small as Little Bozling, it’s difficult to control the tears sometimes. After being bullied and pushed around so much, he clearly had some emotional damage, and he couldn’t take it anymore!

“JUST SHUT UP!” he screamed at them all.

His loud voice suddenly awoke Michaedeer from her trance. She looked down at him. She was still walking down the perfect street, but Little Bozling looked incredibly sad.

“What on Earth is wrong?” she asked.

The three fan people then walked in front of her. In Little Bozling’s view, the three bullies stopped in front of him blocking his path. In Joel’s, he got quite scared when three horrific looking elves jumped out an alleyway next to him. Each was covered in… what looked like… blood. They were all holding a knife.

“What are you doing my dears?” Michaedeer softly said to the three fanners in front of her.

“Let me go!” Little Bozling shouted at the three bullies in front of him.

“I don’t want any trouble…” Joel murmured at the three menacing elves in front of him, raising his hands up.

Of course, in the real world, there were only ever three elves… they just all saw them in a different light. The three elves were definitely there though. And they all said the same thing to Joel, Little Bozling and Michaedeer.

“Come with us…” so, each of them did.

TUNE BACK IN TOMORROW FOR CHAPTER 18 - THE TRIAL OF LITTLE BOZLING

TOP 10 ACTION FILMS

10. SERENITY (2005) : Directed by Joss Whedon

WHY?
The film that wrapped up the TV show Firefly, it gave us fans of the show all the closure we wanted. An epic space battle that still amazes me to this day, great characters, drama, comedy, action and an ending! Great fun all the way!

BEST MOMENT?



9. SIN CITY (2005) : Directed by Robert Rodriguez

WHY?
At the time I had never seen anything like it, it was visually incredible and hugely action packed. Still to this day I get sucked into the world every time and love the ride it takes me on.

BEST MOMENT?



8. WAR OF THE WORLDS (2005) : Directed by Steven Spielberg

WHY?
Many people hated this film because of Tom Cruise, I however don't mind him... but also the actual film is incredibly well made! I hate the teenage boy in it, but everything else in it is near perfect!

BEST MOMENT?



7. THE MATRIX RELOADED (2003) : Directed by The Wachowski Brothers

WHY?
Once again... most people I know really dislike this film... but there's no denying that it has some of the best action moments ever put to film, and I still love watching it!

BEST MOMENT?



6. V FOR VENDETTA (2006) : Directed by James McTeigue

WHY?
First time I saw this film, I thought it was pretty good. Then I watched it again, and it was slightly better, then again. Every time I see this film I find more layers to it and love it even more. Superb in every way. The following clip is within my Top 10 Film Sequences ever...

BEST MOMENT?



5. KILL BILL (2003/4) : Directed by Quentin Tarantino

WHY?
Amazing from start to finish. This entry counts as both films as I always view them as one long four hour film. The action sequences are incredible, and the narrative is one of the best in a film ever too. Great watching!

BEST MOMENT?



4. CASINO ROYALE (2006) : Directed by Martin Campbell

WHY?
At first, like many, I was worried about how this film would come out. I knew from the start Daniel Craig would be good, as I had seen him before in Layer Cake... I just hadn't realised how good he was as Bond! This reboot could've gone so wrong, but instead it went so right! It's sequel was also good, but never reached the heights that this film touched. How many films really make it feel like they are finishing, then have the guts to go off in another storyline towards the end? Brilliance.

BEST MOMENT?




3. TRANSFORMERS (2007) : Directed by Michael Bay

WHY?
To be honest, I've always liked Michael Bay. I think his films are always big, explosive and sheer fun. Transformers blew me away though. Every minute is fantastic, and has in my opinion, the best CG ever to grace a film so far. The action scenes are like nothing else, the sound is phenomenal. I love Transformers.

BEST MOMENT?



2. THE MATRIX (1999) : Directed by The Wachowski Brothers

WHY?
Probably thought to be my Number one... and it is very close... but this one just falls short. What can I say? The Matrix is so good because of what it is. Sci-Fi at its best. Action scenes that had never been seen before. CGI that made me poo. And so on...

BEST MOMENT?



1. JURASSIC PARK (1992) : Directed by Steven Spielberg

WHY?
Dinosaurs. I love them. Probably a little too much. This film was one of my favourites as a kid, and even as I grew up it just got better. The dinosaurs have never been beaten. Some of the scenes still scare me. That's why it wins my top action film award.

BEST MOMENT?

A New Feature...

Along with finishing the epic story of Blessed-Topia (Chapter 17 due later)... I started to think the other day...

I wrote a while back about my love for Hook... and it started me off thinking... what truly are my favourite films of all time?

I pondered and pondered until I came up with a definitive list. As well as this, I have mini lists for favourite films within each genre.

I will post one of these lists a day, just for fun, see if it sparks up any debate!

BLESSED-TOPIA : Chapter 16 - The Madness of King George

CHAPTER 16 - THE MADNESS OF KING GEORGE

The three were thrown to the floor. Joel slowly looked upwards. He knew who that was. Sitting upon the grand throne, wearing a golden crown… was George Takei.

He did his stupid laugh, “AHA AHA AHA…” then began to speak, “Boys… smooth boys… what brings you to Celebrity Land?”

Joel got to his feet, “King George…” he pleaded, “We are just travellers. We have been through much today, and wish to pass through your land, into the next realm…”

But Joel was interrupted, “My dear boy… AHA AHA AHA… I cannot simply let you go that easily… you must face me in Single Combat…”

“NO!” Joel shouted, “I’ve already done that once today! I’ve already killed King Andy Small of the Waste-Lands… I don’t need more blood on my hands today!”

King George Takei looked at Joel, thinking. “You killed King Andy Small?”

Michaedeer and Little Bozling both nodded.

“Very well… it seems I must come up with a new solution… AHA AHA AHA!”

“Can’t we just pass through?” asked Little Bozling.

George Takei looked at him, then looked to his loyal guard… who appeared to Daniel Craig. George clapped once. Daniel Craig stepped forwards, punched Little Bozling in the stomach once then stood back next to the King.

“Please… don’t speak when you are not spoken to…” said George to the small, now winded elf.

Joel and Michaedeer decided not to say anything to that. Daniel Craig looked very mean, and very tough. He was stood there only in his blue Speedo’s… it was rather embarrassing for everyone in the hall. But the former James Bond actor didn’t seem to mind, he just stood there groaning erotically, rubbing his abs.

“Now… what shall we do?” George said to himself. It was at this point that Daniel Craig bent down and whispered something into George’s ear. George giggled with glee. “OH! AHA! EXCELLENT! YES!”

He then turned to them all, “My sexy and useful assistant has informed me of what to do with you all. You will each be split up. Each of you will then receive a single challenge. If you pass, you will gain passage through my Land. If not, you will be here forever…”

Michaedeer gulped. Joel soiled himself. Little Bozling wee’d a little.

“Are we clear on this?” the King asked.

All of them nodded, knowing there was no way out of this.

“Excellent…” the King clicked his fingers, “You are first!” He pointed at Little Bozling.

The small elf walked on, escorted by Daniel Craig. The other two watched as he disappeared from their sights.

“What am I to do?” Little Bozling asked the muscular man.

“You get to face the fatties…” before even finishing his sentence, Daniel Craig pushed Little Bozling through a door. Little Bozling heard it lock behind him. He looked on. He appeared to be in a massive arena. It looked like something out of gladiator.

“RELEASE THE FATTIES!” he heard Daniel Craig cry out.

There were three doors around him. He looked to his right first. Jack Black walked out. Out of the left door came that guy that plays Hurley from Lost. And out of the final door in front of him, Richard Griffiths stepped out. All three fatties were only wearing a leather thong. The sight was enough to make anyone sick. Fat and sweat were dripping out from their armpits and underneath their man boobs.

“Why does everyone try to eat me?” Little Bozling said to himself as the fat celebrities began to walk towards him.

Back in the throne room, George had pointed next at Michaedeer. She reluctantly agreed and followed the recently returned Daniel Craig to her challenge. She too was pushed inside a room. This one however was pitch black.

“Hello?” she said. There was no reply though. She heard shuffling. Suddenly she glanced behind her, there were some white teeth. Then she saw some eyes. Then more. There were lots of people in here.

“GET THIS REINDEER OUT OF MY ROOM!” a cry came. It was clearly Samuel L Jackson.

Daniel Craig returned once more to the throne room.

“JUST YOU NOW MY BOY! AHA AHA! TAKE HIM TO THE HAPPY ROOM!”

Happy Room? That didn’t sound too bad, well, so he thought. He followed the sexy James Bond star.

“What can I expect in this place?” asked Joel, there was no reply though. Daniel Craig just grabbed him and threw him into the third and final room. All around Joel was… happiness. Rainbows, bright colours, singing… it was like a horror movie… made by the CBBC team!

Meanwhile, Little Bozling was running around in utter panic. Hurley from Lost had taken the first lunge at him.

“LET ME GO!” screamed Little Bozling, running for his life.

“BABY!” Richard Griffiths cried, in a strangely Scottish accent. It was quite a sight, three fat guys in leather thongs chasing around a tiny elf. As much as he tried, Little Bozling was running out of breath. The fatties behind him seemed to be fine though. He watched in horror as Richard Griffiths pulled an entire roast chicken out from a fat flap round his stomach. He then consumed it in one single bite. This gave the fat actor even more energy… what could Little Bozling do?

In the pitch black room, Michaedeer was ready to attack. Her antlers were poking out. By this point she had realised that every actor in the room with her was black, making them harder to see.

“DIE BIATCH!” she heard a squeaky voice say, it sounded a little like Chris Rock, but she couldn’t be sure. She felt a knife brush across her back, and kicked her hooves back, hitting someone. But there were people coming in all directions.

In Joel’s room, he was nearly breaking down. He had never been anywhere so… gay! Out from the blue sky and clouds surrounding him came a variety of cartoon characters. How can cartoon characters come to life like this? These were no nice ones though, they had been made rabid. He ducked as Bugs Bunny, who was violently foaming at the mouth took a lunge at him. The rabbit landed next to him, without thinking Joel snapped its neck. He had to survive.

Little Bozling tried to scramble up one of the walls surrounding the arena. It was no good though, it was too slippery. He was cornered. He could hear Jack Black in his ear freestyle rocking out. He could hear Hurley licking his legs, and he could hear Richard Griffiths breathing as loud as a blue whale.

Michaedeer was on the floor. Black actors had piled on top of her to bring her down. Morgan Freeman was licking her ear. Eddie Murphy was tickling her tail.

“Why are you doing this?” she cried out.

“Why aren’t we doing this?” Morgan Freeman replied back to her.

Joel was now facing cartoon characters from every direction. Mickey Mouse had been humping his leg, but Joel had managed to thrust the horny Disney character off then stomp onto his head. He hadn’t realised that when fighting Donald and Daffy Duck (who had teamed up to try to eat him) that he was heading towards the water. Next thing he realised, his leg was grabbed and he was pulled into the bright blue water.

Little Bozling suddenly had an idea. He took a chance. It may have been the only way. He saw a leg of lamb sticking out of Hurley’s armpit. The small elf ran forward. He jumped up, avoiding the biting teeth of Jack Black. He pulled the leg of lamb out and held it in front of them. He waved it about, they were all drawn to it, like a moth to the flame.

Michaedeer had to get out. With all her strength, she thrust herself forwards. She felt her antlers spear someone.

“DAMN!” a voice came. Sounded like Will Smith. Who cared right now though? She needed to get out of here! She stood up, struggling to get the actors off her. She then used to speared Will Smith as a battering ram to fend off more of the actors.

Joel couldn’t swim very well, and this was not a good thing. The Little Mermaid had pulled him under the sea. Sebastian the crab pinched at his nose, while her trusty fish companion Flounder tried to nuzzle his way between Joel’s buttocks. Not looking at what he was doing, Joel flailed his arms about. He hadn’t realised that he had ripped Arial’s seashell bikini off. All the creatures of the sea dropped Joel looking in awe at the fantastic chest of the mermaid. Joel began to swim to the surface.

Little Bozling’s plan came into effect. All three of the fatties lunged at the leg of lamb in his hand. Due to their close proximity, they all hit each other in mid air. All of them landed in a huge pile on the floor, on top of each other. This wasn’t enough though. The small elf ran forwards and thrust the leg of lamb underneath them, it got lost in the rolls of fat. He wasn’t even sure who’s though.

“LAMB!” Richard Griffiths cried out. He then sat back at watched as the three fat actors ate each other. Jack Black ate some of Hurley’s foot. Richard Griffith’s ate some of Jack Black’s hair. Hurley ate some of Richard Griffith’s nose. Not before too long, the fat actors had consumed each other. A pile of bones lay on the floor in front of him. He grinned.

Little did he see though, a hand come out from behind him and pull him backwards.

Michaedeer was now in a corner. The dead Will Smith dangling from her antler. This was it.

“CHARGE!” she screamed.

She ran forwards, pushing as hard as she could. She still couldn’t see anything, she just heard squeaks and screams.

“AWWW HELL NO!” one person screamed.

Not before too long, she had reached the other side of the room. The lights then turned on. She gasped. The place was a massacre. Dead black actors lay everywhere. Not only was Will Smith on the antlers, but Ice Cube was too… and Cuba Gooding Jr.

A hand then grabbed her as well, and yanked her backwards. The force pulled the dead carcasses off her horns.

Joel breathed in the fresh air as he burst out the water. He looked below to see Arial, The Little Mermaid, being swarmed by creatures in every direction. Even land creatures were diving in to see what she looked like. This gave him his chance. He crawled out the sea and headed back for the door. It wasn’t the end though. Baloo, the giant bear from Jungle Book jumped in front of him, roaring. Blood dripped from his teeth, and his breath was simply ghastly.

Joel was having none of it though. “BARE NECESSITIES THIS!” Joel grabbed the large grey bear’s genitalia. With a large pull, he yanked it straight off. The creature rolled around in pain on the floor. Joel kept walked forwards though, not looking back, wiping the blood from his hands.

A hand then pulled him out the room. It was Daniel Craig.

“Come with me…” the muscular actor said. Joel did so. He followed him all the way back to the throne room. To his delight, Michaedeer and Little Bozling were there too!

“JOEL!” Little Bozling screamed in joy, “I DID IT! I DEFEATED THE FATTIES!”

“And I killed all the black actors!” Michaedeer cried out too. Joel just looked at them. He couldn’t help but just smile. Then he heard a deep booming laugh.

“AHA AHA AHA! VERY GOOD!” King George Takei said to them all.

Joel walked over to him. “We each did our tasks… may we please pass through your Kingdom?”

George Takei just kept laughing though, “My dear boy… I am no King… just a slightly mad actor…”

Joel looked furious. “YOU MEAN ALL THAT WAS FOR NOTHING?”

“Nothing? AHA AHA AHA! No way! It sure was fun! You may pass!”

For a while, Joel considered what he could do to the so called King. He could punch him. He could maybe rip his genitalia off too… but before he could decide, a small arm touched his hand.

It was Little Bozling. “Come on Joel… let’s go…”

Joel agreed, probably the best course of action.

“Just ahead is the gate to the Land of Elves! Good luck there!” George shouted after them.

Up until the point where they exited the building, all they could hear was the monotonous “AHA AHA AHA”.

Joel was proud, they had done it again. Michaedeer was pleased that wine may be through the next gate. Little Bozling was scared though. After all… he had been banished from The Land of Elves…

TUNE BACK IN TOMORROW FOR CHAPTER 17 - THE LAND OF ELVES

BLESSED-TOPIA : Chapter 15 - Celebrity Land

CHAPTER 15 - CELEBRITY LAND

The moment that Joel walked into Celebrity Land, he knew there was trouble. The place wasn’t at all as he had imagined it… it was mostly on fire. There was no sunlight at all, smoke was blocking it all out, in a huge black cloud that loomed overhead constantly. Celebrities that he recognised from film, television and even theatre were all running round like mad men.

“What happened here?” Joel asked, shocked.

Little Bozling looked around and replied softly, “These were once great celebrities… but they were corrupted with their own power. They became evil. They were then all sent here, to live out the remainder of their lives in Blessed-Topia…”

Joel gasped as he watched Dick Van Dyke and Julie Andrews having rampant sex on top of a nearby beer keg.

“TAKE THE DYKE! POPPINS! WOO!” he screamed at her.

All she could reply with was, “I hear a spoonful on sugar will help your medicine go down!” Well… that just ruined most of Joel’s childhood memories. He’ll never look at Mary Poppins in the same way again.

Little Bozling continued, “Because of their corruption, they ran wild and this is what happened to Celebrity-Land. Once it was great, but all that was good is now lost…”

“We need to hurry!” Michaedeer said to them, “We shouldn’t linger here too long… we must get to the Land of Elves…”

The three walked slowly onwards, looking around at the mayhem everywhere. Joel saw what looked like Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie down a dark alley way. He couldn’t know for sure, but it almost looked like… they were buying children? Off some dark stranger in the alley! How strange was that! Angelina picked one up and kissed it. The small baby was consumed by her lips. Joel couldn’t watch anymore.

Little Bozling was looking to the other side. Two girls were having a mud wrestling match. It looked to be Natalie Portman, Zooey Deschanel and Rachel McAdams… it was so dirty, and filthy, and… brown…

Michaedeer was watching forwards. Tobey Maguire, Robert Downey Jr and Hugh Jackman were all rolling around the floor. It looked to her like they were all pretending to be superheroes.

Little Bozling looked at this sight as well, “How tragic… taken over by the characters that made them famous. It is a curse of superhero actors, once playing a superhero… always think they are a superhero…”

Joel watched in horror as Tobey Maguire started to climb up a drainpipe. He knew what was going to happen before it did.

“GO SPIDERWEB!” the actor shouted, jumping off the rooftop. SPLAT! He hit the floor. Dead instantly. What shocked Joel was that this wasn’t the end though. What looked to be midget actors started to crowd around him.

“I’ve heard about this…” Michaedeer gasped, “The dwarf actors eat those who are killed… be extra careful!”

Within moments, there was nothing left of Tobey Maguire but his penis. Kyle Gass then walked past, looked once at the penis, picked it up and walked off chewing it.

“Please… can we get out of here?” Joel asked. The rest of the gang nodded, and they all started to speed up.

Gangs were starting to emerge now. To his left were what seemed to be the Heroes cast. James Kyson Lee was making out with Masi Oka. Alan Blumenfeld was eating the remains of Hayden Panettiere. Dania Ramirez was stood in front of a mirror rubbing her skin till it peeled off. David Anders was singing to himself in a corner.

It was so sad to Joel to see some of his favourite actors over the years reduced to such a state. Would he ever be able to look at them in the same way again?

“Oh no!” Little Bozling said… “It’s the comedians…”

Sure enough a gang was walking up to them. All of Joel’s favourite comedy actors were in there.

“Going somewhere?” Jim Carrey said to him. Joel giggled. There was absolutely nothing funny about what he just said… but the way he said it just cracked Joel up. Good old Jim.

“Funny guy, are you?” Will Ferrell mumbled, cracking his knuckles.

“I think we need to teach all these guys a lesson in pain…” said Steve Carrell, Seth Rogen next to him nodded his head in agreement.

“What do we do?” Joel asked, scared.

“Hey guys!” Michaedeer shouted out, “Go fetch!”

She grabbed an Oscar out of Tom Hanks’ hand, who was standing next to her and threw it. The comedians all ran after it like a pack of wolves.

Tom Hanks started to cry, “WHY!!!” he screamed out. The three walked off and left him… probably best not to get involved in that situation!

Just when Joel thought it couldn’t get any worse… it did. A shady gang walked up to him.

“Got some change mister?” asked Aaron Eckhart.

It was the Dark Knight gang. A mean bunch of actors that didn’t like anything happy. They preferred to live in shade, sunlight hurt them.

“I have no change, sorry…” Joel pleaded with him. Gary Oldman started to walk towards Michaedeer with a knife in his hands. Little Bozling was then picked up by his collar by Michael Caine. He was nothing like how he was in films. This Michael Caine looked extremely tired, with yellowish skin and blue veins running across his face.

“This one looks good enough to eat!” Michael Caine said, raising Little Bozling up some more.

“…Not again…” cried Little Bozling. Joel noticed Christopher Nolan, the director standing near the back rubbing his hands together laughing hysterically. What a fall he must have had because of fame.

Little Bozling was suddenly saved though, by Christian Bale. He rugby tackled the old actor to the ground then picked up the small elf himself.

“You seen my Mum?” Christian Bale asked angrily.

“…No… sorry…” said Little Bozling. The butch actor dropped him then ran over to Joel.

“HOW ABOUT YOU? YOU SEEN MY MUM?”

I guess the rumours were true. “No… I haven’t…” Joel replied, trying to stay calm. The actor ran off, and the other Dark Knight actors shrunk back into the darkness of a nearby alleyway.

As the three proceeded through Celebrity Land, they saw many more sights that I dare not even discuss within this story. I can give you a few highlights though.

They watched as Mel Gibson sat at a table, with a knife and fork, and slowly ate what appeared to be a Rabbi.

They saw Keanu Reeves get attacked by a rabid woodpecker.

They watched Tom Cruise performing open brain surgery on Katie Holmes while he gently sang her Humpty Dumpty to calm her down.

They saw Harrison Ford whipping small slave children, with his trademark Indiana Jones weapon, to get them to lick his toe nails.

They saw a huge fight erupt between Russell Crowe and Bruce Willis over who was the butchest actor. This fight got quickly out of hand however by Shia LaBeouf tried to stop the fight. They ripped him into two pieces then proceeded to beat each other with his severed limbs.

They witnessed a bar brawl between the cast of Firefly and the cast of Scrubs. Nathan Fillion beat Zach Braff over the head with a metal chair, making his nose break in half. What was strange though was that out of his nose came thousands of what looked like mini Jewish spiders. That’s why his nose was so big.

They also saw Kevin Spacey and Dustin Hoffman in a pole dancing contest for Edward Norton. Something Joel thought he would never see, but of course in Blessed-Topia… nothing is too strange.

They could see the exit now. A huge gate lay up ahead. Just a few steps more. No way it would be that easy though. They were ambushed.

Samuel L. Jackson grabbed Joel. Morgan Freeman grabbed Michaedeer. Will Smith grabbed Little Bozling.

The three veteran black actors screamed things at them, but Joel was unable to understand most of it to be honest. The actors started to drag them towards a house though.

“What’s happening?” Joel asked Little Bozling in a panic.

“I can’t be sure,” replied the small elf, “But I think they’re taking us to see their king…”

TUNE BACK IN LATER TODAY FOR CHAPTER 16 - THE MADNESS OF KING GEORGE

Today's Chapter

So... you may be wondering where today's Chapter of Blessed-Topia...

The answer is three reasons...

1. I've been very busy today going Christmas Shopping.

2. I feel quite ill with low energy today.

3. Two chapters of the gang's journey will be posted tomorrow together!

So a double bill tomorrow when they meet gold old King George Takei of Celebrity Land!

TILL THEN!

BLESSED-TOPIA : Chapter 14 - The Guardians

CHAPTER 14 - THE GUARDIANS

“I think… there’s no hope…” said Michaedeer. Her hooves were dragging through the snow.

“I agree…” Little Bozling mumbled next to her. His hair was becoming frozen now and slowly falling away from his head. A truly tragic sight when he was blessed with such beautiful blonde locks.

Joel however, was determined, “We must carry on! We never know what may be over the next ridge!”

The three of them were currently walking down a steep hill, snow up to their knees; all of them were incredibly tired and freezing. Especially Joel, due to the fact that he was still wearing no trousers!

Little Bozling looked at him then said enthusiastically, “I agree…”

Hearing this, Michaedeer stopped. “I thought you just agreed with me? And now you’re agreeing with him? Who’s side are you on?” she shouted at him.

The small elf whimpered and started to cry, “I’m sorry…” he mumbled, “I’m an elf… it’s my job to make people happy… it’s in my blood…”

“Well I don’t want to go on any longer!” Michaedeer shouted out. “I’VE HAD IT WITH THE WASTELANDS OF BLESSED-TOPIA!”

There was a rumble in the distance. They looked behind them. “OH NO! Is it the Danjamus again?” Little Bozling cried out.

The rumble this time though was much steadier, it didn’t sound like footsteps. Joel squinted to the distance then gasped. “RUN!”

Without question, they all started to leg it down the hill. Joel ran for his life, knowing what was behind him, the other two were just trying to keep up with him though. Then, it hit them.

The huge snow avalanche caused by Michaedeer’s shouting hit them. They all tumbled over and were consumed by it. They flew down the steep drop, rolling and trying to breathe in some air and not allow this snow to be the death of them.

I don’t think any of the three companions had realised quite how far they had come within the mighty Danjamus that had swallowed them. The real answer was in fact that they had travelled around 150km inside him… time flies when you’re having fun!

As well as this, none of them had realised either that the campers Mike and Emma didn’t just live within the wastelands… they lived in the OUTSKIRTS of the wastelands. They were nearly there. They just hadn’t realised this yet.

The avalanche ground to a halt at the bottom of the hill. They had survived. Somehow. They all slowly picked themselves out the snow.

“Right! That’s it!” said Michaedeer, “I’m out of here! See you guys later!”

As she went to storm off… she stopped again, looking ahead.

“I’m sorry Michaedeer…” Joel replied to her, “I guess you’re right… maybe there is no hope…” He then saw what she was looking at.

Ahead of her was a wall. A huge wall. It stretched for miles on both sides. Could it be…?

“THE WALL OF THE WASTE-LANDS!” Little Bozling cried, “WE’VE MADE IT!”

This gave them all a sudden boost, raising them upwards quickly and starting them all on a run towards it. It was at this point however, useless... They all reached the wall. It stood about 20 feet, much higher than them… no way they could reach over.

“How do we get in?” Joel asked them both, confused.

Little Bozling looked to each side, “I guess we’ll have to find… a door maybe?”

Joel was furious again. Would this never end? He just wanted to go home! He smacked the wall next to him with his fist. The wall, to his surprise, crumbled away. A huge hole now lay in it.

“Is that… it?” Michaedeer asked. All of them scared of the darkness through it. Suddenly they heard a voice through it. It was deep, and scary.

“You may not pass through here…” it said, “You were brought to the Waste-Lands for a reason… and for that reason… you must stay there forever!”

Joel looked to the darkness and shouted into it, “My name is Joel Maguet. I was sent here against my own will. I wish to speak to Santa Blessed, to return home… I bring with me two companions… we all wish to pass through!”

“Never!” the voice screamed back. Little Bozling’s head dropped, now looking at the floor.

Suddenly, to their surprise, they heard another voice. This time it was squeaky, sounded like a female voice.

“I think they should get through…” she said.

“NEVER!” he replied to her.

The two voices in the dark at that point starting to have an argument. It wasn’t a violent argument though, it sounded almost like an old married couple having a slight fall out. None of them appeared to be winning though. They two hadn’t realised that they had walked into the light however. They weren’t two they were one.

“My god… what is it?” asked Little Bozling.

The thing that stood in front of them was very strange indeed. It stood about 10 feet tall, but one side of its body was female, and the other half was male. The neck then split into two. A female head and a male head. Both had long black hair. And both had piercings on their lips. This scared the small elf.

The creature then realised they could see it… “Now look what you’ve done!” the male half of the thing cried out. “They’re not meant to see us!”

The female half then quickly replied, “Oh… I see… is that because you’re embarrassed of me?” She started to cry.

The male half looked at her and felt bad. “I’m sorry dear,” he said, “It’s just you never let me do my job…”

“What are you?” Joel asked the thing. Both of the heads then looked up at him.

“My name is Sam…” the male half said.

“My name is Rachel…” the female half said.

“And we are the Guardians of the Gate of Celebrity Land… you may not pass…” Sam said to them.

Little Bozling looked at Rachel and smiled, she beamed back. She looked friendly. The male one however did not.

Michaedeer stepped forwards, “Please… we’ve been walking for what seems like ever… let us pass, you don’t know what we’ve been through…”

“Tell me!” Rachel said, excitedly.

“Well… where do I begin…?” Joel said. “I was put in here by Brian Blessed through his beard!”

“Then he met me, and destroyed my house!” Little Bozling interrupted.

“Then they found me drunk in a cave and saved me!” Michaedeer continued.

“Then I fought off a porter dragon!” Joel cried, “And was nearly killed by a giant gorilla man in prison. Then defeated King Andy Small in single combat!”

“And I was molested by a crazy Australian man!” Little Bozling said.

“Then we all broke out of Castle W02, destroying it in the process…” Michaedeer said excitedly, “Then we were eaten by the Danjamus monster, and were attacked by a rabid shrew, then jumped out of his anus!”

Joel had nearly forgotten about that. There was still an Anal Dwelling Butt Shrew inside him somewhere. He had nearly forgotten about that.

“And then some campers put a love spell on us… and we…” Little Bozling then stopped, not wanting to carry on; “… you get the picture!”

Michaedeer then finally said, “And then we were hit by an avalanche and arrived here! So will you help us?”

Sam and Rachel both looked at them. Both their heads had their mouths wide open. Had they really just heard all that?

The silence was now becoming awkward, a tumble weed rolled past.

“I think... we should let them pass…” Rachel said. Sam was still unable to talk.

She leaned over and whispered into the other heads ear. The hand from her half of the body rubbed over his side, erotically. It was quite disgusting really. A huge grin then crept over Sam’s face.

“You’d do that to me? Really?” Sam whispered back to her, grinning. The two heads leaned in to kiss each other. Bad idea. Their lip piercings got caught together. They realised this when they tried to look at the three travellers again, but were unable to do so!

“OUCH!” Sam yelled out. “HELP US!”

“Come here…” Joel said quietly, walking towards them. The bit thing leaned down. Joel fiddled around with the piercings in their lips, and after a while, managed to untangle them.

The two heads separated from each other, both adjusting their jaws and rubbing their lips.

“Please…” Joel said one last time, “Let us through…”

This time, as well as Rachel… the head of Sam was smiling too. “I have heard your story young sir, and I understand all your troubles. You could have chosen to leave us… but instead you decided to help. That is not behaviour of someone that should live in the Wastelands…”

Little Bozling’s head began to rise again, in hope.

“You may pass…” Rachel finished.

The Guardian stepped aside, and the three all walked into the wall and past them.

“Thank you…” Joel cried enthusastically walking into the darkness.

“Good luck,” Sam said, “But be careful… not everyone in Celebrity Land is as nice as you may at first think…”

TUNE BACK IN TOMORROW FOR CHAPTER 15 - CELEBRITY LAND

BLESSED-TOPIA : Chapter 13 - Love

CHAPTER 13 - LOVE

Joel landed back in the snow with a bump. Michaedeer and Little Bozling dropped just next to him. They all looked back as the mighty Danjamus stomped off; not realising what had just come out of his anus. They were free. They had done it…

“Where are we?” Joel asked them both, wiping blood and anal juice from his face.

Little Bozling sighed, “Still in the wastelands I think…”

“Wait!” Michaedeer suddenly cried, “What’s that over there?”

They all looked over, and to their surprise, they saw a light shining through the snowy air. What was it? Surely it wasn’t any kind of civilisation?

“Let’s go…” Joel said as he walked towards it. He was no longer feeling much fear, after all what could be worse than being eaten by a giant creature then jumping out its anus. Joel’s question was soon answered though.

The light turned out to be a bonfire. Next to the bonfire were two tents. It looked like some sort of miniature camp.

“What is this place?” Michaedeer asked, looked truly perplexed.

Hearing voices, one of the tents started to rustle. A boy’s head poked out. He looked about Joel’s age, but with much shorter black hair.

“What do you want?” the guy said in the tent.

Shocked, Joel didn’t know what to say at first, “We’re… umm… well, I’m Joel… this is Michaedeer and Little Bozling… we seek to know the way to Santa Blessed…”

The boy just looked at him. Then smiled. He finally exited the tent. He was quite tall, and thin. He shouted out to the other tent, “EMMA! We got some travellers!”

The second tent rustled, this time a girl’s head poked out. “Good…” she said. Her hair was brown and curly. They were a very odd hair, extremely different but both creepy in the same way.

“Cup of tea, my dears?” the woman said.

“Now, now… let’s not get ahead of ourselves…” the guy said, “Let’s introduce ourselves!”

“Good idea,” she said to him, “My name is Emma…”

“And I’m Mike!” he said back, “We live here in the Wastelands.

Little Bozling looked at them both up and down; clearly unsure… he had been having a fairly bad day, so this was understandable. “And why were you banished to the Wastelands?”

The two campers looked at each other, Emma then spoke up. “Like I said my dears… would you like a bit of tea?”

Joel looked at Little Bozling, who shook his head in disagreement. “No thank you… I think we’ll be on our way…”

“Well!” Emma shouted, clearly getting a little distressed, “At least hear a bit of music?”

“I don’t see what the harm in that could be!” Michaedeer said to them, sitting down on the floor.

The strange girl walked into her tent, she then returned with what looked like a small guitar.

“What is that?” asked Joel.

“It’s my banjo…” she replied to him, smiling.

It looked dodgy. Made out of rotting wood and the weird thing were the strings… they looked like… flesh.

“Its custom made,” Mike said, advertising his camp mate… “She used custom banjo strings to create it… have a listen!”

What could go wrong with listening to music they all thought, sitting down? What they didn’t see was Mike walking into his tent, holding his hands over his ears. Emma began to play. Now here’s where it went wrong…

Turns out these two were banished for simply being too odd to be on Planet Earth. Emma did indeed make this banjo herself using custom strings… from previous boyfriends. Problem is… Mike turned the banjo magic. When they played it, it sent the listener into a trance. It was like a love spell. They instantly fall in love with whomever they see first. This proved useful for fantastic pranks, often making two best friends make love in front of her eyes.

Mike would then use his video camera that he had snuck from the real world and record this, to watch back at a later date. All in all, a pretty sick pair.

As Emma played, the three did not realise they had fallen into the trance… until she stopped playing.

“That was lovely!” said Little Bozling. He smiled up at Joel. Joel smiled back at him.

“It was lovely…” Joel replied, “Just like your hair…”

Joel began to run his fingers through the small elf’s blonde hair. Little Bozling was intoxicated with the feeling of Joel’s smooth skin on his. Goosebumps rose all over his arms with the sensation. It was fantastic.

Michaedeer however was looking straight at Emma. The camp girl hadn’t thought about this… no one had ever looked at her before… often they came in pairs. She hadn’t thought this through.

“The first time I ever saw you…” Little Bozling whispered to Joel, “I knew you were the one…”

Joel beamed back at him, Little Bozling running his tiny hands down Joel’s leg. “First time I saw you…” Joel replied to him, “I knew you were small… but I knew you would be smooth… and I like smooth things… like pebbles! You are my pebble Little Bozling!”

Little Bozling grinned, “That’s the most romantic thing anyone has ever said to me…” He stood up and leaned in to Joel.

Michaedeer stood up, still looking at Emma. She began to walk over.

Emma spoke nervously, unsure about what happens when a reindeer girl is madly in love with you, “Okay… let’s leave it there for today… be on your way…”

Michaedeer ignored this though and walked straight up to Emma’s face, “Sssh sssh sssh!” she said gently.

At this point, unaware of what was happening and assuming everything had gone to plan, Mike walked out the tent holding the video camera, ready to get some footage. What he saw was very odd though.

Little Bozling and Joel were fully making out, stroking each other. This was expected. But Emma has running off into the distance, what was that about? He then noticed Michaedeer was walking towards him slowly.

“Can I help you?” Mike said, nervously.

It was no good though. Michaedeer pounced. Mike then discovered what a reindeer girl madly in love will do to you. She mated with him. Quite violently. She forced her antlers up his bum. She mounted him. By the end of their session, he was quite dead. Completely crushed. Tragic really.

As for Little Bozling and Joel, no one was there to stop them. All I know is that they did get further. I don’t like to talk about what truly happened, all I can tell you is that everyone woke up slightly sore in the morning, and decided not to talk about what had just happened.

Not talking to each other, they all walked off. Little Bozling was limping slightly. Joel had a nasty rash. And Michaedeer couldn’t get the taste of aniseed out her mouth. How odd. Probably best not to ask though…

TUNE BACK IN LATER TODAY FOR CHAPTER 14 - THE GUARDIANS

(Sorry for the slight delay with this chapter, but it was my brother's birthday party, therefore I've been busy all day... but hopefully the next chapter should be finished ready to be posted tomorrow afternoon!)

BLESSED-TOPIA : Chapter 12 - The Anal Dwelling Butt Shrew

CHAPTER 12 - THE ANAL DWELLING BUTT SHREW

Joel slid down the mighty beast’s food pipe, it was a bit like a water slide… only more bile, and spit, and blood. Not too great really. Still, he couldn’t stop himself. He looked to his left; Little Bozling was also sliding, crying like a girl. Joel looked to his right; Michaedeer seemed to be enjoying it, crazy bi…

Joel landed. The floor was squishy. Oh god. Where was this place? All three of them had landed on some internal tissue. Joel never thought he would be seeing this today. Next to him was a gargantuan pit. Inside it was a bubbling orange liquid.

“What on Blessed-Topia is that??!” Little Bozling screamed out.

Joel knew what it was, but was too scared to say anything.

“It’s obviously acid! We’re in the stomach you fool!” Michaedeer shouted back at him. Joel realised how lucky they were not to fall into it. Suddenly they saw something move to the side of them. They all turned sharply, afraid of what it may be. How bizarre. A mongoose wearing a suit, and a monocle… with a cane. Joel hadn’t seen anything like it.

“Guys… what is that thing?” Joel asked gently.

Little Bozling had to laugh, they had seen it before, “Beats us… seems to be a very intelligent form of mongoose or something!”

The mongoose looked at them all then spoke in a very Posh English accent, “Ghastly place this isn’t it? I was just taking my morning stroll when I was gobbled up and landed in here! How very droll!”

Joel was trying not to laugh at the absurdity of what was talking to him.

“There must be a way out of here…” the mongoose said, “I have a plan…”

The three of them watched as the mongoose dropped his cane and took off his monocle. He then, to their horror jumped into the acid pool in front of them.

“Right… now just a short swim across…” it said as it paddled along. “Oh no, what’s that?”

The others watched in horror.

“Oh blast… my tail has melted,” it carried on trying to swim across, “Oh… oh no… I’m… really in quite a lot of pain now… Ouch!”

They all gasped as the posh looking mongoose starting to melt away in front of them.

The last words they heard from it were, “What a spot of rotten luck…” and then it was gone. They all stood for a while, horrified at what they had just seen.

“I’d say… let’s not… go into there… “Little Bozling said. The other two looked at him, and nodded, knowing this before he had even said anything.

“So how do we get out of here?” Michaedeer said, trying to be calm.

“Well… we need to head towards…” Joel paused.

“Towards what? What Joel?” Little Bozling asked.

“The anus. If there’s a way out… that’d be it…” Joel finished.

The other two looked at him. “You can’t us to crawl out of his anus?” Michaedeer questioned.

“Any other suggestions?” Joel said back to her.

“Well, even if we do have to go there! We can’t get out of this stomach anyway! Look at that thing!” Little Bozling interrupted.

Joel smiled at him, “Follow me…”

They both watched Joel as he ran to the side, he then made a leap of faith. He grabbed what appeared to be a vein that was lining the wall. The other two knew what he was doing, and swiftly followed. Each of them shimmied along the vein.

“Don’t look down…” Joel shouted to them.

This is of course, a stupid thing to say. Why people say it I will never know. People will always look down if they are told not to, and this is exactly what Michaedeer did. And of course, in a panic at looking at the bubbling goo below her… she slipped.

Luckily Joel caught one of her hooves. She was much heavier than he thought she would be. He nearly lost grip himself, but determination kept him going. He swung her backwards and forwards, forwards and backwards then eventually released. She flew out his hands and hit the squidgy ground on the other side. She did a few rolls then eventually hit the wall lining next to her and stopped. Joel and Little Bozling managed to get across as well, and both landed next to her.

“I said don’t look down!” exclaimed Joel.

She just laughed nervously. “We need to carry on…” Little Bozling said, so they did.

They walked throughout the horrific looking body. It was unlike anything Joel had ever seen. Things moved. The walls dripped. The ground groaned. Not a pleasant experience.

Eventually, they walked out of the current tubular walkway that they were taking at that point. They came out into a new huge cavern. Two huge pear shaped objects stood in front of them.

“Is that the anus?” Little Bozling asked, quite innocently.

“No…” Joel said, “…that’s the lungs.”

“But the lungs are above the stomach!” Michaedeer cried out.

“I know… which means we’re going the wrong way!” Joel shouted, punching the soft wall next to him. Their whole landscape suddenly moved, groaning.

“Don’t do that again!” Little Bozling cried. Joel slowly moved his hand away from the wall that he had hit. “Right… let’s just keep going that way…” the small elf continued, walking forward.

“NO LITTLE BOZLING!” Joel cried, but it was too late. The mighty Danjamus that had eaten them breathed. Huge gusts of wind poured into the lungs. The elf being so small was swept up. He was dragged towards the huge lung.

“HELP ME!!!” he yelped out. He then hit the lung, his bum was caught inside a hole. The pressure slowly pulling him in.

“We’re coming Little Bozling!” Joel cried back up to him.

Joel looked around, there was nothing. “Boost me up!” he said to Michaedeer. She bent down and he stood on her back. She raised herself, Joel reached out. He couldn’t reach though. The pressure was getting more powerful on Little Bozling, he could feel his backside starting to be sucked in more and more. Joel took a step up onto Michaedeer’s head. She groaned in pain, then raised herself one more time. It worked!

Joel grabbed Little Bozling’s hand and pulled as hard as he could. The little elf came out with a satisfying pop. They all fell to the floor, panting.

“Don’t do that again…” Joel said.

“Don’t worry, I don’t intend to…” Little Bozling panted back.

They all looked upwards at the huge chasm around them. Joel looked to the side and then it hit him. “I’ve got it!”

He stood up and ran over to what looked like a big red water slide.

“What is it?” Michaedeer asked.

“An artery!” Joel cried back, “We’ll take it down! It’ll be fast! Come here Michaedeer!”

Joel must have been going slightly insane in Blessed-Topia by this point. What a ridiculous idea.

The reindeer girl walked over to him. He then grabbed her horn and used it to knife the big tube. Blood came pouring out.

“How do you know that’s the one?” Little Bozling asked, standing up and walking over to them.

“I don’t… but I got no other ideas! Hold your breath!” Joel laughed manically as he jumped into the tube. He disappeared down it with the blood. Michaedeer and Little Bozling shrugged then followed him.

Wow! What a rush this was! They were all building up some serious speed right now. Joel smelt around, it was hard to sniff anything above the blood, but then he caught the whiff he wanted.

“NOW!” Joel shouted.

Michaedeer leaned forward, her antler cutting the side of the artery. They all rolled out, covered head to toe in blood. They looked around, coughing. The smell was horrible. The worst smell of poo Little Bozling had ever experienced. Joel was used to it though.

“Well…” Michaedeer said, “Did we make it?”

They had indeed “made it”. They were in what appeared to be the rectum. Ahead of them was a light… it had to be the anus!

“Come on!” Joel shouted to them, starting to run towards the light.

Unexpected things happen every day, a man may come out suddenly to his parents as being gay. David Attenborough may get eaten by a butterfly. Perhaps even my brother Simon may smile for once. People accept these unexpected events, but this next one was tough for Joel to even take in.

He was attacked by a shrew. What are the chances of that happening just as you were about to exit out of a monster’s anus? It had a girl’s head on; quite young with brunette hair… however, it also had huge fangs and very angry looking eyebrows. Its fur looked like it had been stroked backwards. Blood dripped from its large teeth. It was clearly rabid.

Everyone jumped back in shock.

“My god… what is it?” Michaedeer asked.

“I’ve heard about this…” Little Bozling answered, “it was only a rumour about the Danjamus monster, but they say he once ate a shrew… it could never escape though however and went mad… it is known as the Anal Dwelling Butt Shrew.

Joel looked down at it spinning around in circles, chewing quite violently on its own foot. “Poor creature…” he said, “Let’s leave it and be on our way…”

He walked forwards, but it pounced. It grabbed onto his face scratching and biting. He would surely catch something soon.

The small rabid shrew tried to speak, but it couldn’t pronounce real words… it had gone mad. Instead it just spat gibberish at them.

“I MA NI OS HCUM NIAP! LLIK EM!”

Little Bozling walked forwards, trying to reason with it, “Please kind lady… err… shrew, let us pass and we will not disturb you…”

It pounced on the small elf. It began to chew on his ear.

“AGH! AGH! GET IT OFF ME!” he cried.

Joel picked the Anal Dwelling Butt Shrew up off Little Bozling’s face and looked at it. “What do we do with it?”

As Joel was speaking however, it surprised him again. As he said the word “with”, it jumped from his hand. It pounced straight inside his mouth. Panicking, Joel coughed, but it was too late. The small shrew was going down his windpipe. It had jumped into his body.

“Oh god…” Michaedeer cried, “Are you okay Joel?”

Joel stood there. He then burped quite loudly. “What do I do?” he whimpered.

“Not much you can do really,” laughed Little Bozling, “Wait for it to come out the other end!”

Joel’s face was quite white now. “Can we go now?”

The three of them walked up to the light, all they could see through it was white. Where were they?

“See you on the other side…” Joel said, he then jumped.

TUNE BACK IN TOMORROW FOR CHAPTER 13 - LOVE

(A picture does exist for this Chapter, I have my reasons for not putting it up right now... look for it at a later date...)

Another Semester Over!

Wow! Been so busy writing Blessed-Topia that I neglected to consider what else has been going on.

Well... today we had the screening of our film. Went great. Both the tutors and students seemed to like it, leaving us all with a pretty proud feeling walking away at the end of 2008.

Couldn't have done it without my fellow crew members though: Boz, Joel, Sam, Rachel and Joel. I love you all! And Martin too, for making this film so much better for us than we had expected!