CHAPTER 5 - THE OLD MAN
Little Bozling and Michaedeer stood at the entrance of the cold cavern. They both looked to the sky.
“Where do you think he could be?” asked Little Bozling. Michaedeer just hiccupped in reply. Clearly, she was still extremely drunk.
“We must find him! We must save him!” Little Bozling said bravely.
Finally, Michaedeer spoke up. “Why should we help him? He’s done nothing for us!”
“For the smallest time, I thought he was my friend. I’ve never had any friends before…” said Little Bozling quietly.
Michaedeer laughed at him. “No friends? Loser!” she exclaimed, tauntingly.
“He may have wine?” Little Bozling said in hope. Finally Michaedeer’s ear pricked up.
“Wine?” she grinned. “That’ll do me just fine. Let’s go!”
The two of them set off, out from the cave exit. Once again the snowy wastelands stood before them.
“Over there!” cried Michaedeer. Little Bozling looked over; sure enough there was smoke coming from a nearby mountain. They both began to run. Michaedeer was considerably faster than Little Bozling.
“Would you mind if I rode on your back for a while?” Little Bozling asked, “My legs are so small, and I can’t keep up…”
Before he had time to finish Michaedeer stopped dead in her tracks. Little Bozling walked over to her slowly. “Oh, thank you… I am so tired…” he said.
She just looked at him though. “I didn’t say yes. There’s as much chance you riding on my back, as there is a posh mongoose, dressed in a tux, smoking a pipe walking past!” she cried out.
Strangely enough at that point they heard pacing. Little Bozling gasped as a small rodent, looking a lot like a mongoose walked past them. It was walking on two legs, and wearing a very expensive looking suit. It had a monocle over one eye. In one hand was a pipe that it was smoking, and the other hand held a small cane that it spun around.
“Good day…” the mongoose said to them as it walked past into the distance.
Little Bozling just looked at Michaedeer. “So can I…”
“NO! That wasn’t meant to happen!” she shouted.
She began to run again, followed soon by Little Bozling. Eventually they made their way over to the smoking mountain. When they reached it, they gasped at what they saw. The full sized porter dragon was lying on the floor. It was breathing, but didn’t look very alive at all. They wandered over to it. Both its wings were severely snapped and a brown paste covered its eyes.
“My god! What happened to you?” Little Bozling asked the monster.
The dragon looked at them and sighed in pain, “That boy… was too strong, I couldn’t shake him. He wouldn’t leave me alone. I was going to drop him off somewhere, but before I could… he…” the beast groaned in pain.
“He what? What did he do?” Michaedeer asked anxiously.
“He… pooped… in both my eyes… I can’t see a thing… I’m blind. And the smell… the smell is unbearable! It’s like a cat died and was eaten by a dog that then died because of the smell of the cat, then they rotted together to form one horrible smell… that’s how bad it is! PLEASE! Kill me!” the dragon cried out.
“That’s disgusting…” said Michaedeer quietly. “What do we do now?” She looked over, Little Bozling was being sick in a bush. He had just gotten a whiff of the smell from the dragon’s eyes.
“We’ll do as you ask if you tell us where Joel went!” Michaedeer demanded.
“I don’t know,” the dragon screamed in pain, “I can’t see anything!”
“This one’s no good to us,” Michaedeer said to Little Bozling. “We should do as he asked, and put him out of his misery.”
“And how do you propose we do that?” Little Bozling asked her back, walking over to them,” I don’t exactly have any dragon poison with me!”
Michaedeer grinned. “Look away,” she said. Little Bozling did as she asked. He then heard some horrendous slashing noise, splatting, and the dragon screaming. When he turned round again, the dragon was in at least 60 pieces. It was everywhere. It’s purple blood stained the snow and the walls.
“How did you do that?” he asked, amazed.
“I’ll show you some other time!” she laughed to him.
At this point, the story gets really quite scary, for all the kids that may be reading this, stop doing so now.
Little Bozling and Michaedeer looked around for what to do next. They had no leads at all. They then heard a voice. He sounded Australian. “I am NOT! NOT! NOT! Happy at all!” he cried out. They then saw him for the first time. He was quite old, and chubby. He wore a Hawaiian shirt, very tights shorts, socks and sandals. He waddled over to them.
“Not happy with what, sir?” Little Bozling asked.
“Look at the mess you made!” he screamed at them angrily, my door is ruined. They both looked to where he was pointing. There was a small opening in the wall, looked like a small house had been built into the mountain. Sure enough, purple dragon’s blood was all over it. A large sphere was next to the door as well.
“What’s that?” Little Bozling asked, looking at the sphere.
“That? That’s a dragon testicle! Disgusting! I should! Ooh! Aah!” the old man cried at them.
This man was clearly disturbed. Spitting and cursing at them like crazy. He kept walking up to their faces and randomly breathing at them. No reason. It was all very odd. Eventually though, he calmed down and starting breathing slightly slower.
“I’m sorry,” he said to them. “It’s just so irritating for a man in my position.” He then looked at Little Bozling. His eyes grew wider. A grin crept across his face. He licked his lips. “Why don’t you come in? For a nice cup of tea…”
Little Bozling and Michaedeer looked at each other. “I’m sorry,” Michaedeer said gently, but we need to find our friend.
“You mean the fellow with no trousers or pants?” the old man asked.
“Yeah!” Little Bozling exclaimed. “That’s the one! Where is he?”
The old man started walking towards his door. “Come in, relax, and we’ll talk all about that.”
So sure enough, Michaedeer and Little Bozling followed him through his door, into the mountain house. It was nice inside. It felt cosy, and warm. A small fire was burning in the middle. They both sat around it while the Australian man fiddled about in the kitchen.
He then walked over to them, and handed them both a cup of tea.
“So, what’s an Australian man like you doing all the way out here in Blessed-Topia?” Little Bozling asked.
“Me? I was banished here, don’t like to say why though,” the old man replied. “Now… let’s talk about your friend…”
“I was banished too,” Michaedeer said quietly. “I used to be Santa’s top reindeer girl, but when I discovered wine, I became addicted and couldn’t stop… and they sent me here…”
Little Bozling gasped, “I thought I was the only one banished out here! It’s because I’m small that I’m here!”
They both looked at him. Bit of a stupid reason they thought. “Anywho… your friend…” the Australian man said. “The guards captured him. They are taking him to Castle W02!”
“Oh no!” screamed Little Bozling, “We must go! We must save him!”
“We will little man, don’t you fret… but first… enjoy tea with good ol’ Geoff,” the man said.
It was at this point when Little Bozling started to become dizzy. He fell to the floor. “What’s happening?” he said. He looked over at Michaedeer. She was on the floor. Already passed out.
“You see little guy… I like to molest young elves… I like to do it… Aah!”
The last thing Little Bozling saw before he passed out was the fire. The fire wood was bones. Small bones. And then it was black.
TUNE BACK IN TOMORROW FOR CHAPTER 6 : CHALLENGED
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