CHAPTER 8 - SINGLE COMBAT
The dungeon door creaked open. A guard stood here, he looked down at Joel. “It is time…” he said gently.
Joel turned to Martin, his Kuk Sool Won master. Martin looked back at his student. “I believe in you…” Martin told Joel. This was in fact, a complete lie… there was no way Joel could defeat Andy Small with the limited skills that he had taught him.
Joel, not knowing this, and now feeling quite confident, walked out the cell willingly with the guard. He walked through the main dungeon door and then watched as Martin was lost behind it again.
Joel walked slowly with the guard. “You’re gonna die…” the guard sniggered to Joel. Joel tried to ignore this, but he couldn’t help working up a slight sweat. Once again he and the guard entered the grand hall of video tapes and DVDs. Just curious, he looked at one of the labels on the tapes of the walls… “DESTROY”… what a strange name that was for a film. Maybe it was a good film though, then again, knowing Andy Small, it wasn’t!
Joel walked all the way up the hall until he faced Andy. His former lecture was now wearing huge, black steel armour. He looked like a knight. A black, evil knight to be exact. “I am ready,” Joel said to the man.
“No… no you are not…” replied Andy. Joel looked a little confused. “It is not single combat unless you are wearing armour too. Choose now.”
Three guards brought three sets of armour over for Joel to examine. The first was similar to Andy’s. A steel cuirass and helmet. Nah. The second was a dressing gown, it looked swift and fast… but offered no protection. Nah. Then Joel glimpsed the third one. It was samurai armour. Yes! He picked it and the guard handed it to him. He placed the awesome looking armour around his chest and put a pointy helmet on afterwards. Joel was no judge, but let’s face it he thought; he did look pretty cool indeed.
“Hang on!” Joel shouted. “Where is the bottom half?” It was true indeed. They had provided Joel with the top half of the armour, but no trousers or bottom armour.
Andy Small laughed back in Joel’s face. “We thought it’d be funnier for you to stay half naked, like you already are… when you meet your death…”
A guard stepped up to the front of the room. “All contestants prepared. Weapons are placed around the room. Pick them up as you see fit. The winner is the man who survives. The loser… will die. No rules. No time limit. Are you both ready?”
Andy Small grinned with an open mouth; he licked his teeth with his slimy tongue. He then closed his helmet visor. “I am ready.”
Joel looked at the guard, feeling slightly uneasy at his naked bottom half. “I am ready too.”
The guard smiled. “EXCELLENT! THREE! TWO! ONE!” This was it, Joel thought… “ONE!” the guard screamed.
Andy Small rolled to his side immediately. Joel wasn’t sure what he was doing, he then realised. Andy had picked up a spear on the floor next to him. Joel looked around. He dived to the right. On the floor he grabbed a huge metal mace. This will do for now. He looked up, Andy Small was running towards him, spear held out. Joel dodged out the way. Andy went flying past him, seemingly unable to stop.
“COME HERE!” Andy screamed.
Andy turned and charged again. This time Joel was ready. Joel swung his huge mace and hit the tip of the spear. The long stick bounced off it and hit the ground. Andy then did a huge, accidental, pole vault straight over the top of Joel’s head and landed on the other side. Pretty awesome, but accidental. The two competitors stood there, thinking… cool.
No time to stop though. Joel ran towards Andy this time. He waved his mace around in circles, screaming like a samurai. For all the spectators of this fight, it was really quite embarrassing to watch. Andy ducked under one of the spins, and then tripped Joel up. Joel fell to the floor; his back hit hard winding him. Andy screamed and brought the spear down to Joel’s face. Joel was fast though, and rolled away from it. Thinking fast, Joel kicked the spear. It snapped in two. He had done it! Or so he thought…
Andy let out a scream of rage. He still held the two pieces. He went at Joel with them. He hit. The wooden stick hit Joel across the side of the head; the other one sliced his left leg open. The audience watching cheered. Joel fell to his knees.
Andy walked up to him slowly, lifting up his visor. “You cannot beat me… Joel… I will always be better than you…”
Andy Small lifted up the pointed spear end, ready to strike. Joel then tightened his grasp on the mace he held within his hand. As Andy thrust the spear down, Joel flung the mace sideways. It cracked the man straight in his ribs. It didn’t stay though, the armour had protected him. It was enough though to knock Andy to the side slightly and give Joel time to stand up.
Andy, in a fit of rage dropped both parts of the spear. He bent down and picked up… a battle axe! Joel gasped. It was huge! Pretty much the size of him… it had to be over 5 feet! And the blade was ridiculously big, Andy must have been compensating for something. No time to joke now though, Joel thought as he backed up, ready for the next strike.
Andy ran at him. He swung the axe as hard as he could. Joel ducked. It narrowly missed the top of his head. It was so close that some hairs flew off Joel’s scalp. There’s no way he could take on this weapon with a mace. It just didn’t work. Joel looked around. There it was! He ran towards it and skidded across the floor picking it up in the process.
Joel arose, holding a giant golden sword in his hand. It was heavy, but it was powerful. It was long. It was bad ass. Joel ran at Andy. Andy ran at Joel. The two met in middle. Joel jumped into the air, bringing the sword down. His willy felt fresh, flapping around in the air. Andy blocked it with his axe. The two started a fearsome battle. Both were dodging the others mighty swings. Joel swiped the sword; it bounced off Andy’s armour again. It was just too strong. How could Joel do this?
Andy retaliated to this hit with a huge swing back. Joel ducked underneath. A poor guard that was standing behind Joel had his head lopped off instead. The dead guard’s body fell onto Joel. It knocked him to the floor and trapped him. The guard was really heavy, Joel could barely move him.
“STAY THERE!” Andy screamed as he charged towards the trapped Joel.
Andy swung his axe down. Without thinking, Joel grabbed the dead guard’s shoulders and pulled him over him. The axe hit the guard in the back. Blood squirted all over Joel. Andy swung downwards again, and again Joel blocked the hit with the corpse. This carried on for about 14 hits, by this time the guard was in pieces all over the throne room. Joel was covered head to toe in blood and faeces. Don’t even ask how the faeces got there… that’s a story for another day.
Andy was getting tired, so Joel saw this as his chance. Joel arose with the dead guards severed arm. He smashed Andy Small round the face with it. The axe flew out of Andy’s hand. Joel dropped the arm. The two men stood facing each other, both panting heavily. Neither had any weapons any more.
“It’s time to end this…” Joel said to him.
“I couldn’t agree more!” Andy screamed at Joel.
The King jumped into the air and landed down onto Joel’s face with a loud punch. The force was incredible. It nearly knocked Joel to the floor. Joel had a secret weapon though. Martin had taught him Kuk Sool Won. Joel then proceeded to act out some what he thought were awesome moves, unfortunately he just looked more like a chicken. Joel hadn’t had anywhere near enough training. He looked simply ridiculous trying to do it.
It had worked though, Andy couldn’t stop laughing. It may not have been how Joel wanted it to, but something had come out of it. Joel saw it as his chance. He went to punch Andy. The man just caught Joel’s hand though and squeezed it… hard. He threw Joel to the floor. That was unexpected. Andy sat on top of Joel and completely took of his helmet. He then removed Joel’s headgear too.
“You need to learn the Harvard system if you are to beat me…” Andy said calmly, placing another hit into Joel’s cheek.
Something then twitched in Joel’s eye. He rediscovered his hate for Andy Small with that quote. “HARVARD THIS!” Joel screamed. He pushed Andy off with all his might, the two of them both then stood up. Joel tackled him. Andy went flying back straight into the pillar of videos. Damn. Joel was hoping that it would break, but it was really quite strong! Andy looked badly winded though and Joel still had a chance. He picked up the battle axe that his foe had taunted him with for the duel and swung it. It hit. The axe went straight into Andy Small’s nose and hit the pillar on the other side. A clean hit straight through Andy’s face. The top half of the former King’s head then slid off with a wet slop onto the floor.
Joel had done it. He had won. He raised his arms up screaming in joy. No one else seemed too happy though.
(PICTURE BY JOEL MAGUET)TUNE BACK IN TOMORROW FOR CHAPTER 9 - INFILTRATION
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