CHAPTER 7 - GEOFFREY'S WRATH
Michaedeer slowly opened her eyes. What the hell had happened? Last thing she could remember was drinking that tea… the tea that the old Australian man gave her, and then she woke up. It was then that she realised where she was in this current point in time. Michaedeer was strung up on a spit roast! Underneath her lay a set of logs, ready to be set alight, and when they were… Michaedeer was toast!
“Help me!” she cried. She heard a shuffle from the next room. The door in front of her then opened. The old man walked in.
“Why hello…” he gently said to her in his raspy Australian voice.
“What are you doing to me?” she frantically asked.
Geoffrey smiled. “My dear… you are dessert tonight…”
“Dessert?” she cried, “You can’t eat me! I’m mostly alcohol! No blood on me! Tough… chewy meat… let me go!” She then stopped. “Hold on…” she said to him slowly, “… if I’m dessert, who’s the main course?”
Geoffrey grinned at her again, he turned and opened the door behind him fully. Michaedeer gasped. Little Bozling was belly first on the dinner table, his arms and legs tied to together behind his back. Inside his mouth was an apple. He tried to shout, but he couldn’t.
“What the hell are you doing to us?” Michaedeer screamed, “Let us go! We need to find our friend!”
“Your friend will find you eventually, and when he does… he will be mine too. I like to molest little elves you see, my dear. And this is the smallest one I have ever seen. He’ll go well as my afternoon treat, and then… MY DINNER!” Geoffrey screamed.
The old man turned around and scuffled about in a drawer. When he rotated back, he held a pack of matches. “Soups up!” he laughed as he lit one and threw it to the logs underneath Michaedeer. Little Bozling let out a huge moan, panicking. Geoffrey turned to him. “BE QUIET! I’LL SHOW YOU!” He ran over to Little Bozling, he pulled down the small elves pants revealing his shiny, bare behind.
Michaedeer looked down; the match flickered between the logs. Anything could set it off any moment. She looked around frantically, trying to find something to do. There was nothing though. She heard muffled screams from the next room, she looked towards it.
Geoffrey was sat next to Little Bozling on the table. He looked up and down Little Bozling’s tiny body, slowly rubbing him with his grubby. “You are a SMOOOOOOTH little elf!” he cried. He then began to pour salt and pepper on Little Bozling’s bottom. It was a horrible sight.
Michaedeer tried to chew on the rope tying her to the horrible stick to which she was attached. It was no good though. Suddenly, she had an idea. She started to rock herself backwards and forwards. From the next room she carried on hearing screams, but tried not to look.
“I will nuzzle in your buttocks… then wear you like a scarf!” she heard Geoffrey cry out to Little Bozling.
She rocked forwards and backwards. Backwards and forwards. Unfortunately, this blew the flame to a small twig underneath her. It lit suddenly. The fire began to spread quickly across the logs underneath her. This didn’t put her off though, she carried on rocking. The heat was getting intense now. Flames started to flick across her fur. She pushed herself harder and harder though, rocking as much as she could.
“SQUEAL LITTLE ELF! SQUEAL!” Geoffrey screamed.
Then it happened, Michaedeer’s left antler tapped the cupboard she was aiming at. A meat cleaver hanging from it fell down and smashed the stick holding her into two clean pieces. Consequences did occur too though, one of her ears was lopped off in the process. She didn’t have time to think about that now though, she rolled to the side to avoid the fire. The burning logs spread across the floor. She scrambled out of her broken ropes and got to her feet.
Geoffrey didn’t seem to have noticed the loud bang though, as he currently was wearing Little Bozling as a hat. His head was completely inside poor Little Bozling’s backside.
The small elf looked at Michaedeer, unable to make noise due to the apple still being in his mouth. He was clearly in a lot of pain. After all, how would you feel if an old Australian man had his head inside your bum? I’ll answer that one for you… not good… not good at all…
Michaedeer ran up to Geoffrey, charging as much as she could. She rammed his stomach with her antlers. The old man flew backwards, Little Bozling flew off in the opposite direction. The apple flying out of his mouth too.
“OWWWWW!” Little Bozling cried, rolling around the floor.
“How the hell did you get out?” Geoffrey cried, scrambling up from the floor.
Michaedeer didn’t answer though, she charged at Geoffrey. She hadn’t expected the old man to be so strong though. This time he grabbed her antlers and threw her back.
“BRING IT ONNNN!” he screamed, in his crazy Australian voice, ripping off his shirt in the process.
“Little Bozling…” Michaedeer called to behind her, “I could really use your help here…”
The elf wasn’t listening though. He was crying in the corner. Meanwhile, in the other room, the fire was now spreading rapidly. Most of the floor was now alight, along with all of the furniture. It moved slowly up the walls towards the ceiling.
Geoffrey ran towards Michaedeer, she jumped out the way and he ran straight into the kitchen counter. He didn’t pause though, he seized the moment and grabbed a meat cleaver!
“HELP LITTLE BOZLING!” she cried out.
“He’s no use to you now…” Geoffrey told her calmly, softly pacing towards her with the huge blade in his hand, “I loosened him up good…”
Geoffrey did assume all this however, as the next thing he realised was that Little Bozling had jumped on his back. The little elf clawed at his face, like some mad cat, trying desperately to put down the old man. But it was no good. Geoffrey picked up Little Bozling and threw him to the floor in front of Michaedeer.
“I AM NOT! NOT! NOT! GOING TO LET YOU GO!” he bellowed at them. As he ran forward, the wall behind him collapsed. Burning wood tumbled down, just missing him by inches. “What the hell is going on?” he cried out.
“This is our chance!” Michaedeer whispered to Little Bozling. The elf nodded. Michaedeer charged. Geoffrey went to slice down with the cleaver, but his leg was met by Little Bozling. The small pixie pushed Geoffrey as hard as he could, but it was no good, the old man was too strong. What he had done though was to distract him. Michaedeer rammed Geoffrey. It was a good hit. Breaking most of Geoffrey’s ribs instantly. The crazy old Australian man went flying backwards into the fiery room.
“Let’s get out of here! This whole place is going to come down!” Michaedeer cried. Most of the house was on fire now, she ran to the door. “You need to open it Little Bozling… I have hooves! I can’t do it!”
Little Bozling was lying on the floor though. “My… my butt… it hurts so much… I don’t think I can go on anymore!”
Michaedeer rolled her eyes and ran back to him, “Come on!” she said, hoisting him onto her back. She ran back to the door and the little elf twisted the knob. They both ran out into the fresh air. Cold snow had never smelt so good.
“We did it!” yelled Little Bozling.
The door behind them burst open again suddenly though. Geoffrey was standing there. He was completely on fire. Who knows how he was still alive.
He ran towards them screaming what sounded a little bit like drunken Arabic. His eyesight must have been gone though, as Michaedeer quickly sidestepped away from him, he carried on charging and hit the giant dragon testicle that was still there. He bounced off it onto the floor. It slowly moved, then completely rolled over. It crushed him instantly. Michaedeer and Little Bozling never saw him again.
They two heroes sat outside in the snow for a while, watching the house slowly burn to the ground. At this point, the pain caught up to Michaedeer.
“MY EAR!” she cried.
Little Bozling laughed at her, it did look extremely comical. Something then ripped in his backside though. He suddenly stopped giggling.
“MY BUTT!” he cried.
The two of them sat there sobbing in pain, but not for too long, they still had to find Joel.
TUNE BACK IN TOMORROW FOR CHAPTER 8 - SINGLE COMBAT
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